What's interesting to me was that I reread my 2012 post and when I wrote it, I kind of thought 2012 was just preparation work for the tough part, it turned out to be true. Kind of like NFL training camp. I guess it worked out that way, but there really isn't any prep work.
My usual vices weren't there to help me with diversions. The Giants were terrible. The Devils didnt make the playoffs. I couldn't get into the Yankees; they were useless. No Springsteen.
The year was basically broken up into three parts. The beginning third, through March. Late spring and then everything after June.
The beginning part of the year was filled with a lot of trips to the hospital. It was also spent with a lot of hockey games, softball games, and soccer games. The kids were always a bright spot. When I look back at that part of the year, it was spent with a tremendous amount of doctor visits and hospital stays.
After June things started to get better for all of us. There were still a lot of tears but we actually still had fun. The kids surfed all summer long. We had soccer again. Hockey. Another fun trip to Disney. Jacob's Bar Mitzvah party. We also met some really great new friends. Things are still weird but we are learning and continue to move forward.
I learned four things that helped me get through the second half of the year.
- Losing a spouse is like losing a limb.
- I'm going to cry until I can't cry anymore and then I'll just stop
- I really don't get angry anymore
- There is always a new day around the corner so get up and get moving.
My kids are awesome. They are everything to me. I know most parents think that way, but in my case, my entire day begins and ends with them. I have a few new friends. Plus, well, it's hard to imagine it being worse than 2013.
Every day things get a little better. It's not like we don't think or talk about Mary; I don't think an hour in the day goes by without thinking of her. Really the kids seem happy. I look at pictures and they seem like happy good kids.
The theory about time healing wounds is true as long as you get out of the house and try to make new memories. It's ok to have a bad day once in a while but multiple bad days means you haven't learned or tried anything new.
So hopefully, we all can get back to our new normal and have a good 2014.
Later 2013, you really sucked.