PardonMyFrench

XM Radio Save Program Needs Help

I've been a big fan of XM Radio ever since my Acura came with satellite radio.  XM was a life saver when I would drive to and from Jersey City when I was a managing director at Harrisdirect.  I'd listen to ESPN, Comedy Channel, CNN, and all the different music stations.  Some times the comedy channel was the only thing that kept me going while I was sitting in traffic on the Pulaski Skyway.  When I started my home based business, I added a second radio in my office so I could listen to news, sports, and of course Springsteen once XM merged with Sirius.  

That worked great until about a month ago.  Instead of using some cash in the stock market or leave it in a bank to earn nothing per month, we built this great extension on the house which is now my office. Unfortunately I can no longer get a signal in my office because it is on the North Side of the house and the Southern part of the room is an interior wall.

So I logged on to my XM account but got nowhere with the help menus.  Next I called into listener care which could do nothing to solve my problem, so sadly the only thing I could do was cancel my service since luckily for me, it was a little before my annual renewal.  I had no issues with their customer care, they were professional and courtesy but they couldn't do anything with my signal problem.

However, I started to get bombarded with what I'm assuming is their save program.  Now I love save programs, especially integrated direct mail, internet campaigns.  I also think their approach for customers that left for other reasons would be quite reasonable, but don't they know I can't access their service?  Why don't they know I called in to their listener care and they tried to help me but couldn't.  Is it too much to ask to use data to segment out their list to people that left because they could no longer get a signal.  And, why don't they know I'M ACTUALLY STILL A CUSTOMER WITH MY PRIMARY CAR RADIO STILL ACTIVE?

Why send me this smoking great offer?  If you want me back why don't you send me emails with a different product, some kind of booster, or something that actually addresses the reason I left?  Why don't they recognize I was a multi-unit customer with my other radio still active?  Shouldn't that clue XM in that it really was a move of the equipment and not the price?  I don't think that is too much to ask using modern targeting techniques.

XM, I still love you.  Please turn off the email and direct mail campaigns and save those dollars for a real save.  If you have a non-price solution for me, I'd be happy to turn the radio back on.

PardonMyFrench,

Eric

Thanks to Beatles Rock Band for Wii - We are Listening to Beatles 24-7

September 9, 2009 I rushed out at lunch time and picked up Beatles Rock Band for our Wii.  Now the kids were always remotely interested in the Beatles but as you know, we are Springsteen fans (even when I complain about him) so The Beatles were not in rotation.  Lately because of Rock Band I find myself giving my kids copies of the Who Singles, dusting off my Boston CDs, and numerous other classic rock bands.  None of that compares to the impact of Beatles Rock Band.

The kids have literally had me repurchase long sold Beatles CDs. You see back in College my freshmen  year girlfriend was a big Beatles fan so I had almost every CD.  When we broke up I got rid of every one except Abbey Road by selling them to my old favorite record store, Cheap Thrills in New Brunswick (remember record stores?).  I didn't really have a Beatles itch for like 20 years even though while growing up they were everywhere - I guess I got burned out (literally) on them during College.  Then during New Year's eve (12/31/08) we spent the night listening to the fake Beatles Band in Epcot and the itch started to come back, but still it was under control.  That was until Jake and Kaela.

The kids practically melted Abbey Road, so then I ordered my favorites back from Amazon - Sgt Pepper's, Rubber Soul, Help, Magical Mystery Tour, White, and Revolver.  I ripped my favorites to my iPhone and started listening again but the Beatles were not in heavy rotation.  That is until this week - 9/9/09 to be exact.

Beatles Rock Band is brilliant.  Instead of you starting your band, you play the Beatles through the years in different venues with hidden easter eggs along the way. Plus instead of just unlocking songs you also unlock pictures with detailed explanations and embedded videos (like The Beatles Christmas Messages)  These simple changes do a few things all driven by curious little kids...

1. Where did the Beatles start?
2. Who's the guy with the glasses?
3. Why did the Beatles stop touring?
4. Why did the Beatles break up...

Etc.  24/7 Beatles.  It is so bad, that I bought Yellow Submarine remastered and the Beatles Past Masters on Saturday.  Kaela has Sgt Pepper's in her room and Jake still has Abbey Road in his room.  I went to today's Giants game and we listened to Past Masters Volumes 1 and 2 as well as Rubber Soul (round trip = 90 minutes).  Jacob and I got home and we played about 6 songs on Rock Band (BTW -  I do a killer I am The Walrus) until about 10:30 PM.  Mary asked me to find out when McCartney is touring again so I signed up for his newsletter.  Plus more...

24/7 Beatles introduced to kids by parents that stopped listening to them 20 years ago?  Not only did they get the $55 from the game, but probably $100+ in CDs and a potential 4-pack in tickets and Beatles gifts.  If you are say a classic rock band like Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band with an aging fan base, you can instantly reignite your catalog by hooking up with Rock Band - between it and iTunes you can get younger....Amazing....Led Zep next?

PardonMyFrench,

Eric

Webkinz, iPods, and Yellow Pages Oh My

 A typical day in the life of the Frenchman family in Long Valley NJ:

This morning my son wakes up early to boot up my old PC in my office.  Why?  He now knows how to use a PC, fire up Internet Explorer (I know I have to get him on Firefox), and log on to his Webkinz account to play one of three Webkinz.  What's so special about logging on in the morning  before school?  Well, he figured out how to optimize his KinzCash earning power.  You see, has to wait 8 hours between jobs so he can earn KinzCash in the morning and then take another job in the afternoon.  He's a well oiled KinzCash earning machine, so of course my daughter wants to play too, but she can barely read right now. 

Instead of letting her sleep in, he wakes her up so she can earn some KinzCash and this means she needs to use my wife's laptop.  He helps her boot it up and log on to her Webkinz account.  By the time he leaves for school, she is still online but she now lost her helper and needs to turn to my wife for support. 

Unfortunately for Mary, her iPod is also attached so it can be charged for the day.  Not only is it getting in my daughter's way, but as usual, it keeps popping up iTunes to let her know about all the good updates she needs.  She can't unplug it because she needs to charge it, but my young daughter doesn't understand why this popup ad for iTunes (that's what it really is) is ruining her playtime.  So, who wins in the end between iPods and Webkinz?  The iPod wins but not after my wife is sufficiently annoyed with iTunes.  Besides, we count the time she spends on Webkinz as TV time and enough was enough.

However, before the iPod/Webkinz battle is finished, I found my wife sitting at the kitchen table with a phone book (yes she had the waste of a paper weight in her well manicured fingers) in her hands. 

"Mary, what are you doing with a phone book?", I asked not realizing a power struggle is raging in my den.

"I'm looking for a gym nearby so our daughter can try a new gym.  Oh wait, here I found it.  Can you wait a sec hon?", she answered back as she went to dial the phone. "Hi, I'm looking to sign up my daughter for a gym...err, what?  You aren't a gym?  Oh, I'm sorry I have the wrong number."

"Mary, why don't you just Google it (note proper use of the word) instead of wasting your time with that novel?"

"I can't.  Oh wait a second, I dialed the wrong number.  Here it goes.  Yes, hi, my daughter would like to take a test class to see if she likes your gym.  No, she isn't 6 yet, but wait isn't this the same gym that Jane Smith takes a class?  No?  Oh, that's a different location.  Do you have the number for that location?  Great.  Thanks."  Mary finally hangs up the phone and quietly curses the phone book.

"See I told you, you should have Googled it.  Why did you waste your time with..."  Before, I can finish my question that would have ended sarcastically, Mary interrupts and yells....

"Look, I can't use my laptop because your daughter is on Webkinz and she needs help.  Plus, every two minutes iTunes pops up over her screen which drives her crazy.  She can't minimize it and it continues to pop up to let me know about some new song I could care less about.  So, don't come downstairs to tell me to Google it.  We've got Webkinz, iPods, and Yellow Pages..."

Oh my....

Eric

The New Green Scare

A little historical back drop for you.  Back in 1947, Ronald Reagan, President of the Screen Actors Guild was called to give testimony to the House Un-American Activities Committee on communist activities within SAG.  A quote from Reagan is important to be reminded of today regarding Microsoft Vista/IE 7(stay with me)..

In opposing those people (communists), the best thing to do is make democracy work. In the Screen Actors Guild we make it work by insuring everyone a vote and by keeping everyone informed. I believe that, as Thomas Jefferson put it, if all the American people know all of the facts they will never make a mistake.  Whether the party should be outlawed, that is a matter for the government to decide. As a citizen, I would hesitate to see any political party outlawed on the basis of its political ideology. However, if it is proven that an organization is an agent of foreign power, or in any way not a legitimate political party -- and I think the government is capable of proving that -- then that is another matter.

Back to the present keeping in mind that phishers=communists and Microsoft=HUAC.  According to the article in the December 19th edition of the WSJ called Software to Spot Phishers Irks Small Concerns Microsoft seems to start a new Green Scare.  In this case Microsoft is trying to be the judge, jury, and executioner of what is a legitimate site or not without the whole picture (opposite of Reagan's quote - "if people know all the facts, they will never make a mistake".)  Unfortunately, according to Microsoft they won't know all the facts.  What that means is that if you don't have a green bar you could be avoided.  How do you get a green bar?  I don't know, ask Microsoft but if you are a small business and not an LLC, partnership, or S/C corp you will not be in the green zone for a while (according to the video link found on the article, maybe 6 months).  And, when you couple this with phishing filter you could end up worse off with a yellow bar.

Sure Microsoft says this is all in the name of protecting consumers from terrible phish sites, but how about the legitimate small business trying to make a buck on the internet?  What happens to them?  Don't they get to participate in the Long Tail?  This certainly puts a burden on small business, but boosts big e-Commerce sites like eBay and Amazon.

Seriously.  What do you think?  Is it fair to hammer small business in the name of protecting you from phishing?  How about Microsoft setting themselves up as the final arbiter of what is a legitimate site without complete information.  I think I can guess what Reagan would have said on this issue...

PardonMyFrench,

Eric

***********UPDATE 12-27**************************

Well, just when I rip on my own post for not getting any love over at Marketing Profs (I think it just has to do with timing), I receive a nice link from The Street.com.  Thanks James!!  As some of you readers know, I've always been a fan of The Street.com and my Mother might be Jim Cramer's biggest fan.

I Have My UPS Truck On Autopilot To Your House

My wife is the classic super star shopper.  Back in her day she once hit 6 malls across three states in just one day.  No exaggeration, 3 different states.  That's a lot of shopping bags.  However, no more.  Yes, we did go to a mall after Thanksgiving, but that was more about getting ideas for our holiday lists.  And, when we do go to a retail store, it is one of the local ones in Chester for unique gifts and for just a walk about town.  Did my wife suddenly stop shopping?  No.  She buys almost everything online. 

Take this past Friday as an example.  The mailman once again rang the front door to drop our mail off and a package.  An hour later (mind you I have a home office), the door rang again and it was DHL with another box (BTW - I didn't think DHL was still in business).  Then an hour later, it's the doorbell again but this time it is Federal Express with another box.  Ok.  That has to be it right?  Wrong.  Around 4:30 PM I see the brown truck back into my driveway.  Yes back in because it is easier for the driver to get the boxes out.  So, I met him down in my garage to get more boxes.  What did he say to me when I opened my garage door and he saw this picture?

"Man, I hit Long Valley and I set my truck on autopilot to your house."   BTW - those boxes prevent me from pulling my car into the garage.

So, what does our favorite shopper have to say about online shopping?  First, looking online for ideas is not very easy or fun.  Second, it is hard to figure out what you are going to look like or how the shoes or clothes will fit.  That's why the return policy is so critical.  Finally, search functions are critical - not just paid click on Google results, but search on the ecommerce sites. 

What's Mary's secret?  She uses catalogs to supplement the lower resolution of PCs to figure out what something will look like and to get ideas for people.  Don't need a connection to do that and believe it or not, some things are just better the old fashioned paper method.  However, when it comes to placing the order,  nothing beats online.

Yes with all the shopping we do online, I'm sure of one thing.  These shippers better be cashing in big time, at least my stock portfolio looks a lot better than my car parked out in the cold until Christmas. 

BTW, if you need to go to a good place at the last minute.  Ask Mary.  She knows.  I needed a place to buy shoes.  She said go to Zappos - they have everything and a 365 day, free both ways, return policy.  (Try reading return policies at big retailers like Target to see how that compares) Their site side search is terrible, but you can find almost anything and they ship quickly.  That white Zappos box on the bottom of the picture arrived within 3 business days.  Have a merry online shopping...

PardonMyFrench,

Eric

Reuters News Feed - Enjoy

I was invited in the past few days to participate in two networks and also allowed to receive recent news video feeds from Reuters.  The Reuters news feed is especially interesting because now you can read my post and catch-up on the latest news.  This was featured in a front page article on the Wall Street Journal a few days ago entitled Online Video Goes Mainstream.  See the site is even more valuable during your busy marketing day.  I guess it pays to have friends in good places.

Regarding the Reuters news feed, it also (in a small way), illustrates a problem I recently wrote in a white paper for a client.  As more and more people obtain their own website and blogs become so easy to publish, the average person will surf more websites.  Therefore the real battle will be in not gathering eyeballs to the site, but increasing the amount of time someone stays on their site.  That's why companies like Yahoo!, Google, and MSN are bringing so many services to you so that you will spend the maximum amount of time on their site that you can afford during the day.

Anyway, the Reuters feeds are a welcome addition to PardonMyFrench.  Just hit the play button and off you go.  In case you are wondering, I'm a few pixels short on the width of the margin, but I couldn't fix it.  So, PardonMyFrench,

Eric

Video Blogging Fact or Fiction

Ok, so probably like you, you've heard or read about podcasting and video blogging (aka vlogging).  In fact, in today's Wall Street Journal there was an article about podcasting entitled Pod Power (link available for seven days).  Inside the article you'll find good tips including that you need a good microphone on your PC and if you want, you can get a good package of software and mic for a mere $179.95.

However, what's it worth.  Right now according to eMarketer not much, but like eveything else on the internet it is expected to grow.  According to eMarketer there were 5 million people that listened to a podcast and that number is expected to grow to 62.8 million by 2010; that's some hockey stick. 

Now what about vlogging?  Well I couldn't find much on the amount on eMarketer, but what I did find was that 19% of all US computer owners have edited a digital video; well that looks like step 1 to vlogging.

So, I took a look around and you know what I found?  That's right kids, a bunch of links and of course the ability to plunk down a few hundred dollars to help you edit and make your own professional video blogs.   Here's one I liked alot, but not enough to drop some cash - http://www.seriousmagic.com/videoblog.cfm

Now, because I was interested I did my own research for you - value added from a guy with a lot more hair than the serious magic spokesperson, who by the way, probably has more money than me.  So armed with some bad family video, Microsoft's Movie Maker software pre-installed on my XP computer, and a search on the internet, I found a great cheap way to vlog. 

So without further ado (what exactly is an ado), welcome to the 2006 version of home videos and my first attempt at a vlog or more like a movie log (mlog). By the way - hit the play button!!!

Free video hosting, video codes at www.vidiLife.com

Hope you enjoy or else just PardonMyFrench,

Eric

The Chicken Lady Cometh

A few days ago I wrote a blog about What Came First, The Chicken or The Blog and I had no idea how popular it would be. First of all, I had my all time high of 175 page views (in the big scheme of things, that's a ring on an gnat) in one day. Also, my sister started her own blog today. Unfortunately, she didn't go for the url that I had listed (www.chickens4pets.com), but went with chickens4pets.blogspot.com. I could have updated the original post with Toni's new blog, but according to the mybloglog stats, www.chickens4pets.com is my number one link out so why change? Speaking of MyBlogLog the links on the side are absolutely awesome and are mostly free. I get free tracking on mybloglog and for a nominal fee of $25 per year I get outgoing and incoming links. Through FeedBlitz people can receive emails of my recent posts - for FREE and finally Technorati lets me have a search box. These are awesome. That's it for today. Welcome to the blogging world NYchickenlady PardonMyFrench, Eric

What Came First The Chicken or The Blog

I was visiting with my sister a few days ago and she was a little bit down on the internet. She has an awesome product that she sells online; they are exquisitely hand-designed eggs. Check them out at http://www.keepsakeeggs.com– she is quite the artist. Anyway, she ran a campaign on Google a year ago and she didn’t get meaningful results from her campaign. So she said, “Eric, how am I supposed to get rich via the internet if a Google search campaign doesn’t drive traffic that converts?” I tried explaining to her the whole starving artist phenomena but she didn’t bite. So, let’s take a look at what went wrong and how a blog on raising chickens could help my sister.

So, You Have A Chicken Farmer for a Sister?

My sister, Toni, lives in Dutchess County NY and decided that raising chickens would be a great hobby. I was surprised that she knew the difference between a hen and a chicken (side note – this reminds me of a favorite line from Seinfeld – if the rooster is having sex with the hen, then who is having sex with the chicken?). Toni takes the chicken eggs and using a special process that coats the eggs with a colorful polymer layer. Bingo, Toni has a very beautiful unique gift. Raising chickens on her own, she has developed a lot of experience in buying, caring, and raising chickens. Heck, I found out on Monday that she performs autopsies on dead pets to understand what happened to them. Yes it is true; I have a chicken farming sister.

To Google or Not To Google, That Is The Question

So, Toni wants to get rich like every other starving artist and asks me what she should do. I said, start a search campaign on Google and get some traffic. So, she turns on her campaign and you know what happens? Her ROI is pathetic. It turns out that when she does get traffic from her campaign, they don’t turn into paying customers and those clicks turn out to be pretty expensive. You say to yourself, “Eric, aren’t you featured in the press talking about search? How can you bash Google? “ Well, I’m not bashing Google at all. Quite the contrary, here’s what is going on with my sister’s campaign.

Toni is in the gift giving business and is up against MAJOR advertisers (ie – Hallmark) who can outspend her on a per click basis. Also, she is selling decorative eggs, which means she has a very seasonal product (Easter). Net, net she is in a very competitive space going up against big advertisers. That’s why her campaign failed. Any clicks she paid for came at a big CPC and when they did click, using normal shopping cart abandonment rates, the math doesn’t work on a CPA basis. What is she supposed to do?

Blog Where The Fish Are

As you can see, I really enjoy blogging. It’s not that I just discovered it, but being employed by an online broker has some drawbacks and one of them was that I needed to have our compliance team review before I published anything. Now, I love the compliance team at Harrisdirect (some more than others), but I felt uncomfortable with having to get an approval, plus didn’t it waste company time if I need to get these approvals. The big reason I enjoy blogging is that a regular person like myself, can generate CONTENT on the internet with just a laptop, internet connection, and a story. Bingo – you are competing with the big boys for content, and as anyone will tell you, content is KING.

chickens4pets.com

So, Toni should start a blog on raising chickens (http://www.chickens4pets.com/). She could write about buying chickens for pets, caring for chickens, feeding chickens, eggs, toys, building chicken coops, and plus, a whole commentary on performing chicken autopsies. The amount of delicious content is endless. Once Toni has her blog going she’ll need to get traffic to the site. That’s where Google comes into play.

Instead of using Google to drive sales, why not use Google to drive traffic to the blog? Of course the blog will have advertising and links back into Toni’s gift site http://www.keepsakeeggs.com/ so she can monetize the traffic. Plus, if she builds up enough visitors she can turn on an ad sense campaign to generate her own CPC revenue. Hopefully, with enough traffic and paying customers, Toni could really start frying up some eggs. So now instead of competing with the big gift giving retailers on a CPC basis, she can build up her own traffic at a much more cost-effective basis.

See, you thought raising chickens and hatching eggs would have nothing to do with a blog. That’s it for now. I need to make a western omelet for dinner.

PardonMyFrench,

Eric